One of the greatest feelings in the world is the feeling you get upon completion of Something. Anything. So I am beyond thrilled to have completed today the Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge. My personal goal was to do a class daily for 30 consecutive days and write a daily blog about the journey. And so on the 30th Day, I have completed 31 Bikram Yoga classes. One more than needed. I can't help myself for doing one more class than needed. Always the overachiever.
The main purpose of my daily blog has been to document the process, more for my benefit than anyone else's. It has been a surprising fringe benefit that so many of you have found inspiration in my daily words. I am forever grateful and profoundly humbled that you have chosen to share this journey with me.
As I mentioned on Day 1, I first did the 30 Day Challenge in 2004 so this is not my first go around. I wish I had documented in diary form that first Challenge because it would make for interesting comparisons. To say that this has been a challenge is to vastly underestimate the time commitment involved. But whatever sacrifices I have made to fit a daily Yoga practice and daily blog in, and they were many, have paled in comparison to all that this daily practice has given me.
The timing could not have been more perfect as we finish off 2011 and gear up for the New Year. In yesterday's class, the amazing instructor Kathryn, spoke about her favorite entertainer Michael Jackson. She vividly described one of MJ's concert rituals: A ritual I had never given much thought to. At the end of every concert, he would go center stage and throw his arms wide open...a symbolic gesture to let his fans know that his heart was wide open to them and that he was openly giving all his heart and love to the audience and in turn accepting and receiving all the love that was being sent back to him. She asked the class in the next posture which was Full Locust Pose/Poorna-Salabhasana to lift our arms up and open our hearts up in the same way that Michael Jackson used to. It was such a beautiful and enlightening moment that I almost wanted to cry. Because 30 days of Yoga has really opened my heart in every way. To all of you. To all of life. To all of the possibilities of a life connected to self and self reflection and a commitment to what is my ultimate life's purpose.
The questions I have received about my 30 Day journey have largely been limited to questions about the physical benefits of the practice. You will notice if you have been reading my daily blog that I've spent very little time talking about that because that has not really been the point of this Challenge. I will say, however, that physically I have made vast improvements in how I execute the postures. My posture is definitely more upright and many of my super tight areas have started to open up. I have a physically demanding job that requires me to execute repetitive movements all day and week. So YES, the Yoga has been great for my body. It's been a year where all that I do to my body has taken it's toll, so ending the year taking care of myself in a better way feels great!
It also just occurs to me as I'm writing this. Every year at this time, I always feel a profound sense of loss and pain. It was around this time in December of 2003 that my Mother entered the ICU for what would be her final few weeks. The Holidays are definitely not a favorite time of year for me. I didn't really fully understand this until now, but The Challenge came at exactly the right time. More importantly, as I write this, I'm having a major AHA moment as I realize the real reason for this Challenge.
Yoga is a productive way for me to grieve. It was my Mother's death in January of 2004 that led me to a Bikram Yoga practice and my first 30 Day Challenge. So it seems comforting, especially right now, to reconnect with my practice. They say everything has a time and a season. A beginning, a middle and an end. All that is now will cease to be. There really is only one "Now." 30 Days of Yoga has really taught me to appreciate the now and live in the moment. But it's also given me a place to acknowledge the grief and the loss and the pain.
The definition of Yoga that speaks the most to me is "Union". Union of Mind. Union of Body. Union of Spirit. In these 30 Days, I have found the perfect union. It has been many things. At times impossibly difficult and overwhelming and at times supremely satisfying and rewarding and most times it has been all those things simultaneously. Yin and Yang in perfect balance. It would not have been a Challenge without it. And I would not have wanted it to be any other way.
Namaste...
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 29: Friday, 12/16/11
So I must fully disclose that I have a secret! And here it is. Today on Day 29 I am on my way to my 30th class. YES! I have done 30 Bikram Yoga classes in 29 days. A few weeks ago, I did two classes in one day and therefore will officially be done with the 30 Day Challenge. And so TODAY my name will go up on the Bikram board as having completed the Challenge. YAY!!! I get a few more goodies for completing the Challenge but will explain all that in tomorrow's blog.
Even though I am done as of today, I will still do a Day 30 tomorrow because my actual personal Challenge was to do a class a day for 30 days. Which means tomorrow will be my last day on my 31st class. Feeling really good y'all...
Even though I am done as of today, I will still do a Day 30 tomorrow because my actual personal Challenge was to do a class a day for 30 days. Which means tomorrow will be my last day on my 31st class. Feeling really good y'all...
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 28: Thursday, 12/15/11
Day 28 of daily yoga done. After last night's inferno of a class (I swear that room was way hotter than 105 degrees), tonight we were back to some level of civility. It really was amazing for me tonight just to see how far I have progressed in the 4 weeks. I'm feeling GREAT about myself. Setting a goal and being this close to actualizing it is very exciting!!! Day 29...Here I Come!
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 27: Wednesday, 12/14/11
Finally home at the midnight hour. Fresh from what will hopefully be my last 9:45pm Bikram Yoga class...ever! Another long day but got it done. The room was hotter than hell tonight. The last class of the evening is generally like a furnace. I was so happy to get done tonight. Let's just say the 90 minutes felt like 90 minutes. When 11:15pm finally dragged around, it felt soooo good. Again, I'm feeling so great having made it into the studio tonight and putting my time in. Always feeling better for just doing it. Always feeling better at the end of class than at the beginning.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 26: Tuesday, 12/13/11
On the 26th Day, it occurs to me that I have achieved what I set out to do with this Challenge. I have felt such a level of calmness in my practice and in my life. In the first few weeks of the Challenge, I was more observational about the practice and the Yoga. Now, I practice from an internal place that has very little to do with who else is in the room or even the instructor.
I am now able to just go to class and let the experience happen. It is so much easier to be in that space. The path of least resistance if you will. Of course, some of this is the joy that happens as you get closer to achieving a goal. I am thankful on this day that it feels so good to be nearing the home stretch.
Most of it, I think, is what happens when you make something a good habit. It becomes instinct. Part of who you have trained yourself to become. The execution becomes easier because you have done the work to build a solid foundation.
I am now able to just go to class and let the experience happen. It is so much easier to be in that space. The path of least resistance if you will. Of course, some of this is the joy that happens as you get closer to achieving a goal. I am thankful on this day that it feels so good to be nearing the home stretch.
Most of it, I think, is what happens when you make something a good habit. It becomes instinct. Part of who you have trained yourself to become. The execution becomes easier because you have done the work to build a solid foundation.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 25: Monday, 12/12/11
The closer you get to finishing something...anything...the more exciting it gets. And so on Day 25, I'm am enjoying where I am but looking forward to this Saturday. Day 30.
When I first started this Challenge, I wasn't quite sure how I was going to be able to fit in all this Yoga into a super busy schedule. But the truth of the matter really is that we have the ability to make the things happen that we choose to. I have scores of amazing moms in my classes who balance kids, husband, and a job but manage to make themselves and their workouts a priority.
We can do anything that we put our minds to!
When I first started this Challenge, I wasn't quite sure how I was going to be able to fit in all this Yoga into a super busy schedule. But the truth of the matter really is that we have the ability to make the things happen that we choose to. I have scores of amazing moms in my classes who balance kids, husband, and a job but manage to make themselves and their workouts a priority.
We can do anything that we put our minds to!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 24: Sunday, 12/11/11
I was having dinner with a friend of mine last night when the subject inevitably turned to "Why are you doing 30 days of Yoga?" Apparently even my friends are not reading my daily blog. So I figure that today, on Day 24, is a good a day as any to address that subject again.
Obviously, or maybe not so to you, I am not doing this Challenge as a physical thing. I teach classes 6 days a week. 25 classes a week to be exact. I'm a runner as well, although I have had to put that aside for the duration of this Challenge. I don't need or really want to do more "exercising". I am not trying to promote Bikram Yoga. I do believe that it is not a practice for everyone. You have to do the research and find a Yoga that speaks to who are individually.
From an exercise physiology perspective, I have some major issues with some of their verbiage. Every time an instructor says "lock your knees," I cringe. Locking's one knees is an invitation to ongoing knees issues and hamstring issues. I think that what they really mean is to engage your quads and inner thighs but Bikram dialogue doesn't really explain that. Another major pet peeve is "go beyond your flexibility. Push. Push. Push." This is ridiculous as well as dangerous. In a 105 degree room, you will automatically be more flexible than you should be and should never, ever, go beyond your flexibility. If anything, especially for newer practitioners, a little conservatism is called for.
Those things aside, I find it to be a good practice for me. I have been practicing on and off since 2004 and have been an athlete most of my life, so doing 30 days of daily yoga is something that my body can handle. I also did The Challenge in '04 so this is my second time around as I mentioned in my Day 1 blog.. I do not recommend that anyone without the proper foundation and yoga base should attempt a 30 Day Challenge.
So back to what my friend asked me. "Why?" The why can be found in my daily blogs over the last 24 days in detail. But in a nutshell, I'm doing this as a way to connect to my inner self and spirituality. A way to deepen my own Yoga practice. A way to take care of myself and my body on a daily basis. After the Challenge is over, I will go to a practice of 3-4 classes a week.
My point really is this. This 30 Day Challenge is about me and nothing else. It is my hope that in my daily blog posts, you will find something that is useful to you. You don't need to do Yoga or anything daily. Hopefully, you will see the larger picture of what I'm doing. Connection to self and to whom we really are is paramount. Whatever avenue you choose to maintain that connection is up to you.
That wraps it upon Day 24 on the mat. Looking forward to Day 25!
Obviously, or maybe not so to you, I am not doing this Challenge as a physical thing. I teach classes 6 days a week. 25 classes a week to be exact. I'm a runner as well, although I have had to put that aside for the duration of this Challenge. I don't need or really want to do more "exercising". I am not trying to promote Bikram Yoga. I do believe that it is not a practice for everyone. You have to do the research and find a Yoga that speaks to who are individually.
From an exercise physiology perspective, I have some major issues with some of their verbiage. Every time an instructor says "lock your knees," I cringe. Locking's one knees is an invitation to ongoing knees issues and hamstring issues. I think that what they really mean is to engage your quads and inner thighs but Bikram dialogue doesn't really explain that. Another major pet peeve is "go beyond your flexibility. Push. Push. Push." This is ridiculous as well as dangerous. In a 105 degree room, you will automatically be more flexible than you should be and should never, ever, go beyond your flexibility. If anything, especially for newer practitioners, a little conservatism is called for.
Those things aside, I find it to be a good practice for me. I have been practicing on and off since 2004 and have been an athlete most of my life, so doing 30 days of daily yoga is something that my body can handle. I also did The Challenge in '04 so this is my second time around as I mentioned in my Day 1 blog.. I do not recommend that anyone without the proper foundation and yoga base should attempt a 30 Day Challenge.
So back to what my friend asked me. "Why?" The why can be found in my daily blogs over the last 24 days in detail. But in a nutshell, I'm doing this as a way to connect to my inner self and spirituality. A way to deepen my own Yoga practice. A way to take care of myself and my body on a daily basis. After the Challenge is over, I will go to a practice of 3-4 classes a week.
My point really is this. This 30 Day Challenge is about me and nothing else. It is my hope that in my daily blog posts, you will find something that is useful to you. You don't need to do Yoga or anything daily. Hopefully, you will see the larger picture of what I'm doing. Connection to self and to whom we really are is paramount. Whatever avenue you choose to maintain that connection is up to you.
That wraps it upon Day 24 on the mat. Looking forward to Day 25!
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 23: Saturday, 12/10/11
Day 23 and not much to report. Another great class. Seems my body knows what to do. My mind is always more relaxed on my day off and so it was tonight. I'm also now in the final few days of The Challenge. One week to go. My hamstrings are a little tight. Doing Yoga everyday will do that to you. My back though is the most open it has been in years. Had an amazing dinner at Cafe Blossom after class. Their vegan chocolate cake is to die for. Final week...here I come!!!
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 22: Friday, 12/9/11
One of my favorite things about Yoga is that it is such a community. You end up meeting the nicest people in a Yoga class. Whether it is at Jivamukti, Sonic Yoga or Bikram Yoga, the positive, infectious energy abounds.
Day 22 today and I have met some truly amazing people. I am drawn to their stories of how long they have been practicing yoga and how it has changed their lives. Our common bond of 90 minutes in a super hot room is literally and figuratively a melting pot. The conversations after class in the locker rooms are indeed priceless. It's one of my favorite parts of my new ritual.
This day comes and goes with ease. My enjoyment of the class, and the energy that surrounds me during class and after class. I soak it up and realize that it's always been there all along. It's always been there all along!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 21: Thursday, 12/8/11
I've been thinking about this all week. The concept of Yin Yang. Not so much the Western definition of Yin and Yang. But the traditional Taoist philosophy. One of the definitions I like of Yin Yang defines the principle as "complementary opposites that interact within a greater whole, as part of a dynamic system." For example, you cannot have the back of a hand without the front.
21 days in a Bikram Yoga room and I am struck by the complimentary opposite of Yoga practice. They say that everything has both Yin and Yang aspects. Light cannot exist without darkness. Pleasure cannot exist without pain. Enlightenment cannot exist without suffering. The more time I spend on the Yoga mat, I'm beginning to see that when I hit a "peak" in my practice that the natural order is for there to be the necessary "valley".
A few days in the valley though leads me to another peak tonight on Day 21. This day is made sweeter by the hours of sweat I have put in on the mat. I am learning so much about myself with each passing class that it's almost too much to articulate. It is a bit overwhelming.
Struggle does lead to progress and the progress feels awesome tonight. There is no better feeling in the world that knowing that you are aligned with who you really are. In the hot room on this particular night, it is as good as it gets. 21 days of highs and lows that produce this day of calmness and beauty. The real progress though is the recognition that the days this week when I was struggling were equally as beautiful. Because both Yin and Yang are equal. Understanding that makes it so much easier.
21 days in a Bikram Yoga room and I am struck by the complimentary opposite of Yoga practice. They say that everything has both Yin and Yang aspects. Light cannot exist without darkness. Pleasure cannot exist without pain. Enlightenment cannot exist without suffering. The more time I spend on the Yoga mat, I'm beginning to see that when I hit a "peak" in my practice that the natural order is for there to be the necessary "valley".
A few days in the valley though leads me to another peak tonight on Day 21. This day is made sweeter by the hours of sweat I have put in on the mat. I am learning so much about myself with each passing class that it's almost too much to articulate. It is a bit overwhelming.
Struggle does lead to progress and the progress feels awesome tonight. There is no better feeling in the world that knowing that you are aligned with who you really are. In the hot room on this particular night, it is as good as it gets. 21 days of highs and lows that produce this day of calmness and beauty. The real progress though is the recognition that the days this week when I was struggling were equally as beautiful. Because both Yin and Yang are equal. Understanding that makes it so much easier.
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 20: Wednesday, 12/7/11
Expectations can be a tricky thing. So on Day 20, I am so exhausted from another full day of teaching my own classes...the Bikram Yoga studio is probably the last place I want to be. My last class has just ended. It's 8:30pm. The torrential downpour that's happening outside is not making this any easier. But oddly, I'm looking forward to the 9:45pm class. This is definitely a case of mind over body.
I decide that the only way I am going to be able to have a productive class is to have no expectations. To take it as it comes. I also decide that I need to operate from a place of least effort. To be so relaxed in the poses, that it requires me to practice with as much energy conservation as possible. The first 10 minutes of class are brutal. I have nothing to give physically. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired!!!
But then my body starts to come alive. It is so used to the daily practice that habitually it knows what to do and where to go. I also don't have as many thoughts about anything tonight. I'm too tired to analyze which is turning out to be a good thing. I just go with the flow: a lesson I really could use in my own life.
I feel 100% better at the end of class. Somehow I've squeezed out day 20 managing my expectations on the mat. Way harder to manage my expectations off the mat but working on that one day at a time...
I decide that the only way I am going to be able to have a productive class is to have no expectations. To take it as it comes. I also decide that I need to operate from a place of least effort. To be so relaxed in the poses, that it requires me to practice with as much energy conservation as possible. The first 10 minutes of class are brutal. I have nothing to give physically. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired!!!
But then my body starts to come alive. It is so used to the daily practice that habitually it knows what to do and where to go. I also don't have as many thoughts about anything tonight. I'm too tired to analyze which is turning out to be a good thing. I just go with the flow: a lesson I really could use in my own life.
I feel 100% better at the end of class. Somehow I've squeezed out day 20 managing my expectations on the mat. Way harder to manage my expectations off the mat but working on that one day at a time...
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 19: Tuesday, 12/6/11
Aaaah! Finally home. Taught 8 classes. Squeezed the yoga in. Exhausted!!! Quick Blog today y'all. After 3 amazing days... back to the struggle of the hot room today. Not a great class for me tonight but a really good one. I will take that on Day 19! I'm super thrilled to have made it happen today and looking forward to just relaxing for a quick minute with a well earned glass of wine and a quick dinner. Some days The Challenge is just to show up and put in the work. My body is definitely saying "Thank You" right now. Thank You for taking care of me tonight. Namaste....
Monday, December 5, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 18: Monday, 12/5/11
I have to admit that I've never really understood why many of my super packed classes make people anxious. What's the big deal? Until it happens to me. Tonight's 7:30pm Bikram Yoga class on Day 18 of The Challenge. My original plan was to go to the 2pm class but decided against that as I had just given every last ounce of energy in my 12:30pm Cycling class and needed an afternoon break before the yoga. In all honesty, teaching packed classes works for me. Lots of energy. I LOVE a packed class!
In a Bikram Yoga situation...not so much. Sweaty people TOOCLOSETOME is making me very anxious. But then I remember that I have a game plan tonight. There are many things I can't control and this would be another one of them. I am going to get back to my original mindset and use this opportunity to be super focused and disciplined in my practice tonight. As close to zero distractions as I can with minimal wiping, water breaks, fixing my mat. Whatever. Tonight is the time to practice self control. What better way to do that than in a room full of sweaty people packed together like sardines?
And so class begins and I let nothing distract me from my focus on me, the breath, the instructor and the practice. For the first time ever, I only take one water break during the first hour of class. In the interest of full disclosure, I have done what I should today. I have properly hydrated all day long which cuts down the need for the extra water. But more importantly, I decide that I am not going to use the water as a way to disconnect from the practice. I do not fidget. I do not fix my mat even though it's wrinkling and it's kind of driving my idea of order crazy. I simply let it go.
Everything is working for me and then we're on the ground for the floor sequence which is the last 30 minutes of the 90 minute class. Suddenly the girl to my right who is THISCLOSETOME keeps looking the wrong way and directly at me. She's driving me crazeee! After a mini internal meltdown, I ignore her and realize that
I need to get back to myself and my practice. And back I am. I finish class feeling the best ever!!!!
The instructor Georgia and I are talking after class. She points out to me that packed classes are actually better for your yoga practice because it teaches you focus. She says that when there are so many people in a class, it cuts down on one's need to look around and become easily distracted. You have to limit your field of vision. This is why I LOVE LOVE LOVE Georgia! Right she is!
It is in fact easier to focus internally when we are forced into a scenario where we have no choice. More importantly, however, is that it teaches me that when there's chaos in my real world I need to do the same! Focus. Internalize. Connect To Self and Breath. It doesn't make me want to go back to a super crowded class anytime soon. But now I need to see if I can bring that same level of focus and discipline to my next class. Stay tuned!
In a Bikram Yoga situation...not so much. Sweaty people TOOCLOSETOME is making me very anxious. But then I remember that I have a game plan tonight. There are many things I can't control and this would be another one of them. I am going to get back to my original mindset and use this opportunity to be super focused and disciplined in my practice tonight. As close to zero distractions as I can with minimal wiping, water breaks, fixing my mat. Whatever. Tonight is the time to practice self control. What better way to do that than in a room full of sweaty people packed together like sardines?
And so class begins and I let nothing distract me from my focus on me, the breath, the instructor and the practice. For the first time ever, I only take one water break during the first hour of class. In the interest of full disclosure, I have done what I should today. I have properly hydrated all day long which cuts down the need for the extra water. But more importantly, I decide that I am not going to use the water as a way to disconnect from the practice. I do not fidget. I do not fix my mat even though it's wrinkling and it's kind of driving my idea of order crazy. I simply let it go.
Everything is working for me and then we're on the ground for the floor sequence which is the last 30 minutes of the 90 minute class. Suddenly the girl to my right who is THISCLOSETOME keeps looking the wrong way and directly at me. She's driving me crazeee! After a mini internal meltdown, I ignore her and realize that
I need to get back to myself and my practice. And back I am. I finish class feeling the best ever!!!!
The instructor Georgia and I are talking after class. She points out to me that packed classes are actually better for your yoga practice because it teaches you focus. She says that when there are so many people in a class, it cuts down on one's need to look around and become easily distracted. You have to limit your field of vision. This is why I LOVE LOVE LOVE Georgia! Right she is!
It is in fact easier to focus internally when we are forced into a scenario where we have no choice. More importantly, however, is that it teaches me that when there's chaos in my real world I need to do the same! Focus. Internalize. Connect To Self and Breath. It doesn't make me want to go back to a super crowded class anytime soon. But now I need to see if I can bring that same level of focus and discipline to my next class. Stay tuned!
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 17: Sunday, 12/4/11
It's safe to say that I don't recall this ever happening before. On Day 17, I'm given another great gift. Another amazing class! I generally do not have 2 great workout days in a row so I'm extremely grateful for this moment as a start to the week.
Let's be clear. Class is still a struggle and it's still hard work. But today again I am managing the struggle with greater ease, patience and discipline. And then it happens. I'm a girl who prides myself on being ultra prepared for anything yet I somehow run out of water in class with 40 minutes to go. At first, I panic. Then I decide that I need to let it go. It will somehow be okay. You know what? It was more than okay. I finished class even better without the distraction of the water breaks I would normally take. I make a mental observation.
What in class is really based on what I want versus what I need? Obviously I need to drink water but how much of my water drinking is a break from the practice and a learned distraction? In what other ways are my wants getting in the way of what I truly need? This thought resonates so much with me that I take the entire night after class is over to ponder this. How can I begin to make more choices from a place of need instead of want? I decide to try it one day at a time. So as I'm going through my day today, I'm doing it more consciously. Deliberately asking myself " is this something that I merely want to do or is it something that I need to do?"
Let's be clear. Class is still a struggle and it's still hard work. But today again I am managing the struggle with greater ease, patience and discipline. And then it happens. I'm a girl who prides myself on being ultra prepared for anything yet I somehow run out of water in class with 40 minutes to go. At first, I panic. Then I decide that I need to let it go. It will somehow be okay. You know what? It was more than okay. I finished class even better without the distraction of the water breaks I would normally take. I make a mental observation.
What in class is really based on what I want versus what I need? Obviously I need to drink water but how much of my water drinking is a break from the practice and a learned distraction? In what other ways are my wants getting in the way of what I truly need? This thought resonates so much with me that I take the entire night after class is over to ponder this. How can I begin to make more choices from a place of need instead of want? I decide to try it one day at a time. So as I'm going through my day today, I'm doing it more consciously. Deliberately asking myself " is this something that I merely want to do or is it something that I need to do?"
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 16: 12/3/11
Sometimes it just happens. Not all the time. But every now and again, everything flows and happens easily. And so it was the case tonight. I try to really savor this when it happens. Day 16 in and things are starting to fit together nicely.
I notice while I'm sitting on the train today that I am naturally sitting up with great posture. For someone like me who spends a good portion of the day and week in the unforgiving cycling posture, this is a welcome fringe benefit of all the yoga. I do miss running though but something has to give temporarily in this 30 day pursuit. My body actually feels really great. More open. No aches. My hamstrings are noticeable tighter this week but that's probably from those deadlifts in class this week.
Saturdays is my one day off. I'm pretty sure that's why the yoga flows on Saturdays. My mind is clear and my schedule is clear. The only physical thing I have to focus on is yoga. It's the perfect place to be for someone like me who makes her living working at such a demanding physical level. I am so grateful for Saturdays. I have a deep appreciation for a day like today..
The truth is that all the days so far that have been a struggle have paved the way for this one day. I delight in this moment and savor it completely. I'm not quite sure how soon this will happen again. Honestly, I would not want it to happen again too soon. It's way more delicious if it happens as a reward for the hard work. We cannot really appreciate the light if there were no darkness. It is the contrast of experience that makes life such an extraordinary journey.
I notice while I'm sitting on the train today that I am naturally sitting up with great posture. For someone like me who spends a good portion of the day and week in the unforgiving cycling posture, this is a welcome fringe benefit of all the yoga. I do miss running though but something has to give temporarily in this 30 day pursuit. My body actually feels really great. More open. No aches. My hamstrings are noticeable tighter this week but that's probably from those deadlifts in class this week.
Saturdays is my one day off. I'm pretty sure that's why the yoga flows on Saturdays. My mind is clear and my schedule is clear. The only physical thing I have to focus on is yoga. It's the perfect place to be for someone like me who makes her living working at such a demanding physical level. I am so grateful for Saturdays. I have a deep appreciation for a day like today..
The truth is that all the days so far that have been a struggle have paved the way for this one day. I delight in this moment and savor it completely. I'm not quite sure how soon this will happen again. Honestly, I would not want it to happen again too soon. It's way more delicious if it happens as a reward for the hard work. We cannot really appreciate the light if there were no darkness. It is the contrast of experience that makes life such an extraordinary journey.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 15: Friday, 12/2/11
How long does it take to form a habit? They say anywhere from 21-28 days. So at Day 15, I am well on my way. It feels really good to be at the half way point!!!
There an old Buddhist saying. Something like "there's nothing good nor bad but thinking makes it so." Or maybe that was Shakespeare? It occurs to me today as I am in class for the 3rd time with my least favorite instructor that this is the Universe's way of teaching me tolerance, patience, and acceptance. That works for about 15 minutes and then I'm back where I started. I recognize though that I am a work in progress and this too will take time. If I can conquer those three things on the mat, I know that it will open up areas in my personal life as well.
I still am somewhat amazed at how each class is a reflection of who I am and where I am. Neither good nor bad. Just an observation. No judgement. Just self awareness. An awareness of what things I need to work on. Because the truth of the matter is that it is never about the other person. The other person exists to show us a mirror of who we really are. What pushes our buttons and why. Questions for me to work on as The 30 Day Challenge continues...
There an old Buddhist saying. Something like "there's nothing good nor bad but thinking makes it so." Or maybe that was Shakespeare? It occurs to me today as I am in class for the 3rd time with my least favorite instructor that this is the Universe's way of teaching me tolerance, patience, and acceptance. That works for about 15 minutes and then I'm back where I started. I recognize though that I am a work in progress and this too will take time. If I can conquer those three things on the mat, I know that it will open up areas in my personal life as well.
I still am somewhat amazed at how each class is a reflection of who I am and where I am. Neither good nor bad. Just an observation. No judgement. Just self awareness. An awareness of what things I need to work on. Because the truth of the matter is that it is never about the other person. The other person exists to show us a mirror of who we really are. What pushes our buttons and why. Questions for me to work on as The 30 Day Challenge continues...
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 14: 12/1/11
YES!!! Day 14. Two things happen today that I love. First, I'm done teaching at 1:30pm and second, my favorite Bikram Yoga teacher has a 2pm class down the street. Let me be very real. I'm exhausted. It's been a long week. The largest part of me wants to procrastinate and do the 8pm class. Luckily the other part of me realizes that if I get this done now, the rest of the day belongs to me and only me. So I head to the hot yoga studio.
And there's Georgia. I've talked about her before in my blog. This woman is a master. Amazing person. Amazing instructor. She commands your attention in a way that always brings out the best in everyone. Once I see her, I know that this will be another special experience. The midday classes are always fun at the midtown studio because it's always sprinkled with some Broadway dancers and other performers with freakish flexibility. It adds an extra element of excitement, focus and discipline to the workout. I count 4 guys with amazing bodies. A little eye candy doesn't hurt when you're in a 105 degree room for 90 minutes of semi torture.
I notice right away that everything about me is calmer. Knowing you're in great hands does have that effect I think. But almost at the midway point of the challenge, I'm learning the simple act of acceptance. It is what it is at any moment in a class like this. So instead fighting it, I go with the flow. I've been working on staying present, staying focused, finding the breath and letting go and seeing where the practice takes me with no expectations.
About half way through class, Georgia starts to discuss how our body is only a vessel for our Soul. "Everything changes" she says. "Only the Soul remains the same." Yoga practice is a way to clear away the cobwebs so that we can have greater clarity into who we really are.
Living in a city that is as energy consuming as New York and moving at the frenetic pace of my daily life had definitely taken its toll. How could I have lost the most important connection to who I am? But then I realize that it doesn't really matter how it happened. The past is the past. Everything around us does change. How willing am I to change? I do know this for sure. Change is so much easier when you have clarity.
And there's Georgia. I've talked about her before in my blog. This woman is a master. Amazing person. Amazing instructor. She commands your attention in a way that always brings out the best in everyone. Once I see her, I know that this will be another special experience. The midday classes are always fun at the midtown studio because it's always sprinkled with some Broadway dancers and other performers with freakish flexibility. It adds an extra element of excitement, focus and discipline to the workout. I count 4 guys with amazing bodies. A little eye candy doesn't hurt when you're in a 105 degree room for 90 minutes of semi torture.
I notice right away that everything about me is calmer. Knowing you're in great hands does have that effect I think. But almost at the midway point of the challenge, I'm learning the simple act of acceptance. It is what it is at any moment in a class like this. So instead fighting it, I go with the flow. I've been working on staying present, staying focused, finding the breath and letting go and seeing where the practice takes me with no expectations.
About half way through class, Georgia starts to discuss how our body is only a vessel for our Soul. "Everything changes" she says. "Only the Soul remains the same." Yoga practice is a way to clear away the cobwebs so that we can have greater clarity into who we really are.
Living in a city that is as energy consuming as New York and moving at the frenetic pace of my daily life had definitely taken its toll. How could I have lost the most important connection to who I am? But then I realize that it doesn't really matter how it happened. The past is the past. Everything around us does change. How willing am I to change? I do know this for sure. Change is so much easier when you have clarity.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 13: Wednesday, 11/30/11
Just getting home from 9:45pm Bikram class at upper west side studio. SO happy to be home sweet home. I have to be up in a few hours for an early morning start to Thursday so a very quick update blog tonight. Feeling really good although I definitely was exhausted when I got to class tonight. Took about 10-15 minutes for my body to get into a rhythm but was able to just let go and have a really good experience. At Day 13, I'm almost half way there!!! Still amazed at how it always feels better once I just get it done. Learning a lot about delayed gratification on the mat and off.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 12: Tuesday, 11/29/11
Day 12 was almost the day that didn't happen! The odds were kind of stacked against me. 4 hours sleep last night. No nap today. 8 class Tuesday. Where the hell was yoga going to fit into my day? Thankfully, there always is something special about Tuesdays. If you're going to teach 8 classes in a day, then these would be the ones to teach. From start to finish on Tuesdays, it's always an incredible day. But then there was a problem.
Done teaching at 8pm at Rockefeller Center EQUINOX. 8:30pm Bikram class at the 72nd street upper west side studio. Rain. No cab in site. 20 minutes to get to class. Not making Day #12 NOT an option...so I jump on the bus. And somehow miraculously I make it to the 8:30pm class.
You would think with all that drama that class would be a chore. But...the previous 11 days actually start to pay off as my body knows what to do and does it beautifully and efficiently. Maybe I'm delirious from the 105 degree heat in the studio, but my focus is the best it's been so far. Hard work still, but starting to see the payoffs.
To think that I almost missed this class. But I know myself well enough to know that I would have found a way to get here tonight. You see the thing is this. The most important promises to keep are the promises that you make to yourself. Letting yourself down should never be an option. Sometimes it takes some creativity to make it happen. But when you make it happen, the reward is always so sweet!
Done teaching at 8pm at Rockefeller Center EQUINOX. 8:30pm Bikram class at the 72nd street upper west side studio. Rain. No cab in site. 20 minutes to get to class. Not making Day #12 NOT an option...so I jump on the bus. And somehow miraculously I make it to the 8:30pm class.
You would think with all that drama that class would be a chore. But...the previous 11 days actually start to pay off as my body knows what to do and does it beautifully and efficiently. Maybe I'm delirious from the 105 degree heat in the studio, but my focus is the best it's been so far. Hard work still, but starting to see the payoffs.
To think that I almost missed this class. But I know myself well enough to know that I would have found a way to get here tonight. You see the thing is this. The most important promises to keep are the promises that you make to yourself. Letting yourself down should never be an option. Sometimes it takes some creativity to make it happen. But when you make it happen, the reward is always so sweet!
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 11: Monday, 11/28/11
12:02am and just getting home from yoga! Quick blog y'all as I have to be up at 5:15am. Today at Day #11, I was just super happy to show up and put the work in. 9:45pm class on the upper west side. Super nice and dedicated group. You would have to be at that hour of the night. Great class tonight with a super sweet instructor. How this girl is this energetic this late, I'll never know. As I was leaving the studio at 11:30pm she will helping a student perfect a posture. LOVE her!!!
Shower. Quick "dinner" and then I need to get myself to bed. Lots of hard work tonight but sometimes it's all about showing up and putting the work in. You've got to trust that building a strong foundation is its own reward. And so it goes on Day 11!
Shower. Quick "dinner" and then I need to get myself to bed. Lots of hard work tonight but sometimes it's all about showing up and putting the work in. You've got to trust that building a strong foundation is its own reward. And so it goes on Day 11!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 10, Sunday, 11/27/11
Here's the thing. When you are doing anything for the long haul, I find it's so much easier to break it up into smaller pieces. A long term goal can seem overwhelming. But, smaller goals will give you a greater sense of achievement and keep you more focused and more excited about the whole process.
And so today, at Day# 10, I am 1/3 of the way through the Challenge!!! Habits are interesting. We know all too well how to develop a bad habit. Good habits can be a bit more challenging. Once you get into a rhythm though, things start to automatically become habitual. So I semi eagerly trot off to class.
If you've ever been to a Bikram Yoga class, there is almost always two things happening that you cannot control. Hirsute, shirtless men with stomachs hanging from their shorts and sick people blowing their noses endlessly through class. Both were again going on tonight (and class hadn't even started yet), but then the Hottie from yesterday's class came in and set up his mat in front of me. This class was starting to instantly pick up! The Hottie is interesting in that he never brings any water to class and has the focus of someone who has been practicing yoga all his life. If this is the body one gets from doing this every day, I'm definitely in!
For the second time, my least favorite instructor is subbing class so I know that unless I concentrate on myself, and the Hottie, the 90 minutes will feel endless. It doesn't help that half way through class the guy next to me is blowing his nose into his hand (EWWWWW!!!) and finally I lose it andhand toss him a box of tissues. Seriously?????????? BREATHE, BREATHE breathe, breathe....
This instructor does nothing to help my practice and everything to get in the way of it. Too much talking. Saying the wrong things. I do feel for her, because the hardest thing about being an instructor is sometimes getting out of our own way and letting the class happen. I fall short of that myself at times. And being on the receiving end of it is no fun. I'm miserable in this class but am getting a fast lesson on the things that I as an instructor need to work on.
And that's the thing about life. There is always a lesson in every situation. Many times we have to suffer to get to that truth. Many things do not come easily. The answers aren't always apparent. What makes us uncomfortable invariably exists to reflect back our own behavior. Note to self though. I've got to learn how the Hottie has such razor sharp focus and no need for water when he practices. Stay tuned!
And so today, at Day# 10, I am 1/3 of the way through the Challenge!!! Habits are interesting. We know all too well how to develop a bad habit. Good habits can be a bit more challenging. Once you get into a rhythm though, things start to automatically become habitual. So I semi eagerly trot off to class.
If you've ever been to a Bikram Yoga class, there is almost always two things happening that you cannot control. Hirsute, shirtless men with stomachs hanging from their shorts and sick people blowing their noses endlessly through class. Both were again going on tonight (and class hadn't even started yet), but then the Hottie from yesterday's class came in and set up his mat in front of me. This class was starting to instantly pick up! The Hottie is interesting in that he never brings any water to class and has the focus of someone who has been practicing yoga all his life. If this is the body one gets from doing this every day, I'm definitely in!
For the second time, my least favorite instructor is subbing class so I know that unless I concentrate on myself, and the Hottie, the 90 minutes will feel endless. It doesn't help that half way through class the guy next to me is blowing his nose into his hand (EWWWWW!!!) and finally I lose it and
This instructor does nothing to help my practice and everything to get in the way of it. Too much talking. Saying the wrong things. I do feel for her, because the hardest thing about being an instructor is sometimes getting out of our own way and letting the class happen. I fall short of that myself at times. And being on the receiving end of it is no fun. I'm miserable in this class but am getting a fast lesson on the things that I as an instructor need to work on.
And that's the thing about life. There is always a lesson in every situation. Many times we have to suffer to get to that truth. Many things do not come easily. The answers aren't always apparent. What makes us uncomfortable invariably exists to reflect back our own behavior. Note to self though. I've got to learn how the Hottie has such razor sharp focus and no need for water when he practices. Stay tuned!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 9: Saturday, 11/26/11
Today has been one of those days. I've been fighting a cold for the last couple of weeks. I thought I was going to loose my voice several times on Wednesday while teaching classes. That minor issue aside, the last 3 days have been really great. There is nothing like time off from work. I have never been great about taking the necessary downtime for my body. Teaching 25 classes a week takes its physical and emotional toll very easily. I am definitely a bit of a workaholic so I'm really proud of myself for giving myself the gift of a few days off.
I feel physically fine now. Lots of dry coughing spells though. But my mind has been a little all over the place today. They say that over 90% of our thoughts are either about things that have already happened or things that have not yet happened. And that was the case for me today, until I made a decision to stop, breathe and let go. Amazing how our connection to self is through the breath. Once I could stop and just breathe I instantly started to have more clarity and serenity. I am trying to do a better job of staying in the moment. One day at a time.
Some days just the simple action of showing up is enough. And so it was that I decided that I was going to go to class with absolutely no expectations. Just let the practice happen. To let go of the process and the result and focus on the breath. Bikram Yoga class starts with what's called Pranayama Breathing which is a standing deep breathing exercise. It's never been my favorite part of class. Honestly more a chore than anything else. Tonight was the first time that I really took notice of what it means to begin class that way. I had been missing the point all these years. It was still a chore, but at least now I have an understanding of something that I need to work on in and out of class.
That wraps up Day 9!!! Again, I am ending the day feeling much better than when I started. Class tonight was what it was. Happy to have struggled and made it through the 90 minutes.
I feel physically fine now. Lots of dry coughing spells though. But my mind has been a little all over the place today. They say that over 90% of our thoughts are either about things that have already happened or things that have not yet happened. And that was the case for me today, until I made a decision to stop, breathe and let go. Amazing how our connection to self is through the breath. Once I could stop and just breathe I instantly started to have more clarity and serenity. I am trying to do a better job of staying in the moment. One day at a time.
Some days just the simple action of showing up is enough. And so it was that I decided that I was going to go to class with absolutely no expectations. Just let the practice happen. To let go of the process and the result and focus on the breath. Bikram Yoga class starts with what's called Pranayama Breathing which is a standing deep breathing exercise. It's never been my favorite part of class. Honestly more a chore than anything else. Tonight was the first time that I really took notice of what it means to begin class that way. I had been missing the point all these years. It was still a chore, but at least now I have an understanding of something that I need to work on in and out of class.
That wraps up Day 9!!! Again, I am ending the day feeling much better than when I started. Class tonight was what it was. Happy to have struggled and made it through the 90 minutes.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 8: Friday, 11/25/11
"Life Begins At The End Of Your Comfort Zone."-Neale Donald Walsch-
Here's the thing about my life. It's easy to be comfortable. So hard sometimes to move out of that space that feels good or that space that is familiar. And so on Day 8, I decide that whenever I'm feeling the smallest hint of comfort in class, I will take the opportunity to move out of that space.
The thing about a Daily Yoga Practice is that it forces you to start to see life differently. It's made certain things very clear to me. One of the benefits of yoga is that I clears away many of the things and feelings that are not true to who you authentically are. I've been able to hear my true inner voice more clearly because I'm in a space that I can listen. Without distraction. Funny how the answers are there if you just can be in a place where you are open to listening.
The first level of placing myself in discomfort in class is that I try to practice in the hottest space in the room. It really does force me to have to "fight" a lot harder in a class. The second level of discomfort for me today was to really push every posture to a place that was out of my comfort zone. So much work!
But here's the thing. We are all always capable of so much more that we imagine. And all this time in the hot yoga room is taking me to places both physically and spiritually that I didn't know were possible for me. Connecting to self or our center is so vital. It's been hard for me to do that over the last few years because I had convinced myself that I didn't have the time. Today I now choose that time and choosing that time has made all the difference in the world to me in only 8 short days.
Every minute of every day is an opportunity for me to choose differently and to experience life in a more meaningful way. A way that pushes me past my self inflicted set point. A way that moves me out of my comfort zone. A way that moves me closer to the life I truly desire.
Here's the thing about my life. It's easy to be comfortable. So hard sometimes to move out of that space that feels good or that space that is familiar. And so on Day 8, I decide that whenever I'm feeling the smallest hint of comfort in class, I will take the opportunity to move out of that space.
The thing about a Daily Yoga Practice is that it forces you to start to see life differently. It's made certain things very clear to me. One of the benefits of yoga is that I clears away many of the things and feelings that are not true to who you authentically are. I've been able to hear my true inner voice more clearly because I'm in a space that I can listen. Without distraction. Funny how the answers are there if you just can be in a place where you are open to listening.
The first level of placing myself in discomfort in class is that I try to practice in the hottest space in the room. It really does force me to have to "fight" a lot harder in a class. The second level of discomfort for me today was to really push every posture to a place that was out of my comfort zone. So much work!
But here's the thing. We are all always capable of so much more that we imagine. And all this time in the hot yoga room is taking me to places both physically and spiritually that I didn't know were possible for me. Connecting to self or our center is so vital. It's been hard for me to do that over the last few years because I had convinced myself that I didn't have the time. Today I now choose that time and choosing that time has made all the difference in the world to me in only 8 short days.
Every minute of every day is an opportunity for me to choose differently and to experience life in a more meaningful way. A way that pushes me past my self inflicted set point. A way that moves me out of my comfort zone. A way that moves me closer to the life I truly desire.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 7: Thursday, 11/24/11
I was feeling an amazing sense of accomplishment today on Day 7. The first major milestone. I was 25% of the way through the 30 Day Challenge. But then my Friend Sharon pointed out to me over Thanksgiving Dinner with her family that I hadn't reached the 25% mark yet. That would happen during tomorrow's class on Day 8. Allrighty then...tomorrow it is.
But for today, Thanksgiving Day, I have a lot to be Thankful for. Last Thanksgiving, I was "recovering" from a back spasm that forced me to take a couple of weeks off work and 9 months to feel good in my body again. For the first time in the past year, I can fully practice yoga again, run and teach classes without being in pain. That in itself is everything that I need today and everyday.
After 7 days of daily yoga, I'm more grateful than ever for the joy of movement. I'm breathing in life more deeply and more appreciatively. I'm getting more connected to who I really am and listening more closely to the voice that's always been there. More importantly, I'm giving myself a daily dose of the best kind of self love and self attention. I'm taking care of me!
But for today, Thanksgiving Day, I have a lot to be Thankful for. Last Thanksgiving, I was "recovering" from a back spasm that forced me to take a couple of weeks off work and 9 months to feel good in my body again. For the first time in the past year, I can fully practice yoga again, run and teach classes without being in pain. That in itself is everything that I need today and everyday.
After 7 days of daily yoga, I'm more grateful than ever for the joy of movement. I'm breathing in life more deeply and more appreciatively. I'm getting more connected to who I really am and listening more closely to the voice that's always been there. More importantly, I'm giving myself a daily dose of the best kind of self love and self attention. I'm taking care of me!
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 6: Wednesday, 11/23/11
You know what they say? You are indeed the company that you keep. In life...and in yoga. And so tonight I found myself in excellent company. 8pm class on the upper west side. Once again rushing from upper east side classes of my own. Honestly, I would have preferred to go home but the Challenge continues. Day #6!
I say this in class all the time. The hardest part of working out is getting there. Once you're there, it ALWAYS just happens. That's why the Nike "Just Do It" campaign is my favorite. I was setting my mat up when the guy behind me was jokingly making fun of how neat and perfect my mat positioning was. I told him that I was just trying to set up in a way that would not be in his mirror space and the mirror space of the guy next to him.
And then this is what he said to me. "It's good to learn that when you're new." He thinks I'm a yoga rookie??? Those of you who know me well know that was all it took for me to get into competitive Loi mode. Everything about yoga practice is anti competition. You're there for you only. Never in competition with anyone else. Well whatever... because now it was on.
That's all it took for me to have the class of my life. That's all it took to elevate my practice to the highest level so far. Competition can't be wrong, I think, if you direct it inwardly to make you better. I always think that in making ourselves better, we elevate those around us as well. Again tonight, there were such strong, focused people around me, that collectively we raised each other up.
It's a necessary question for all of us to ask. What kind of company do we keep? Are we in the presence of people who make us greater than we are? Do we make the people in our presence greater than they are? How can we contribute to a community of "we" instead of an island of "I"?
I say this in class all the time. The hardest part of working out is getting there. Once you're there, it ALWAYS just happens. That's why the Nike "Just Do It" campaign is my favorite. I was setting my mat up when the guy behind me was jokingly making fun of how neat and perfect my mat positioning was. I told him that I was just trying to set up in a way that would not be in his mirror space and the mirror space of the guy next to him.
And then this is what he said to me. "It's good to learn that when you're new." He thinks I'm a yoga rookie??? Those of you who know me well know that was all it took for me to get into competitive Loi mode. Everything about yoga practice is anti competition. You're there for you only. Never in competition with anyone else. Well whatever... because now it was on.
That's all it took for me to have the class of my life. That's all it took to elevate my practice to the highest level so far. Competition can't be wrong, I think, if you direct it inwardly to make you better. I always think that in making ourselves better, we elevate those around us as well. Again tonight, there were such strong, focused people around me, that collectively we raised each other up.
It's a necessary question for all of us to ask. What kind of company do we keep? Are we in the presence of people who make us greater than we are? Do we make the people in our presence greater than they are? How can we contribute to a community of "we" instead of an island of "I"?
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 5: Tuesday, 11/22/11
Today was a challenge all right; A scheduling challenge. Tuesdays is the one really hard day of my week. 8 classes! So exactly when was I going to fit a yoga class in? It was either going to have to be yoga or a nap today. So nap out and yoga in. 4pm class at Midtown location. I got an extra bonus in that Georgia was my instructor again. Great way to start Day 5!
Already I notice that I'm feeling much different in my mind and in my body. I'm calmer, less distracted, more focused, more alert. The heat is still there but it's becoming like a welcome foe and sometimes friend. The habit of coming every day for 5 days is starting to sink in and I find myself surrendering to the process.
The thing about yoga is that there are so many lessons to be learned on the mat. For me...patience, letting go of control. The list really goes on. And so on Day 5, I'm starting to make the connection between the anxiety that I bring to class that plays out in my head and the anxiety that plays out in my head all day long. I'm starting to understand that the way that I approach my yoga practice is the same way that I approach my life.
But for now, I'm really happy with myself. Happy that I gave myself the gift of 90 minutes that was devoted entirely to the care of me today. Happy to be happy!
Already I notice that I'm feeling much different in my mind and in my body. I'm calmer, less distracted, more focused, more alert. The heat is still there but it's becoming like a welcome foe and sometimes friend. The habit of coming every day for 5 days is starting to sink in and I find myself surrendering to the process.
The thing about yoga is that there are so many lessons to be learned on the mat. For me...patience, letting go of control. The list really goes on. And so on Day 5, I'm starting to make the connection between the anxiety that I bring to class that plays out in my head and the anxiety that plays out in my head all day long. I'm starting to understand that the way that I approach my yoga practice is the same way that I approach my life.
But for now, I'm really happy with myself. Happy that I gave myself the gift of 90 minutes that was devoted entirely to the care of me today. Happy to be happy!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 4: Monday, 11/21/11
Day 4!!!!!! After last night's 7pm class, having to do yoga again at 11:30am was not something that I was really looking forward to. But 11:30am was what was going to work with my schedule today and 11:30am meant that I got to take my favorite Bikram Yoga instuctor. Georgia.
Just to fill you in on a little bit about Georgia, she was one of Bikram himself's first students when he arrived in Honolulu to teach in 1971! Just saying she is a phenomenal powerhouse doesn't even begin to describe what makes Georgia's classes special.. One of the things that I love about Georgia is that just being in her space and presence demands that you elevate to your A++++ game. She has a gift for getting the best out of everyone in the room and navigating the class so brilliantly that you don't mind giving that extra percent that others can't seem to acces or that I can't seem to access by myself.
I hadn't been in one of her classes in a couple of years and she came over to talk to me after class. I told her how exceptional she is as an instructor. She said that the class today was so special for her. Special because it was a really strong group and special because everyone was working together with minimal distractions and lots of focus and positive energy.
She was right. It was the most special group I had practiced with so far. Each moment of class. Each posture. Each breath. There was an undeniable synergy and flow. It doesn't always happen but when it does, it is pure magic.
Even more magical though is when you are blessed with the opportunity to be in the space of someone like Georgia who always makes you feel good, who always brings out the best in you, who fills your cup up so that you want to give more to everyone else. And what makes her special most of all is her humility. Even though I had complimented her on how great she is, she turned it around and put the focus on how a great class is really about the students. A priceless lesson on Day 4!
Just to fill you in on a little bit about Georgia, she was one of Bikram himself's first students when he arrived in Honolulu to teach in 1971! Just saying she is a phenomenal powerhouse doesn't even begin to describe what makes Georgia's classes special.. One of the things that I love about Georgia is that just being in her space and presence demands that you elevate to your A++++ game. She has a gift for getting the best out of everyone in the room and navigating the class so brilliantly that you don't mind giving that extra percent that others can't seem to acces or that I can't seem to access by myself.
I hadn't been in one of her classes in a couple of years and she came over to talk to me after class. I told her how exceptional she is as an instructor. She said that the class today was so special for her. Special because it was a really strong group and special because everyone was working together with minimal distractions and lots of focus and positive energy.
She was right. It was the most special group I had practiced with so far. Each moment of class. Each posture. Each breath. There was an undeniable synergy and flow. It doesn't always happen but when it does, it is pure magic.
Even more magical though is when you are blessed with the opportunity to be in the space of someone like Georgia who always makes you feel good, who always brings out the best in you, who fills your cup up so that you want to give more to everyone else. And what makes her special most of all is her humility. Even though I had complimented her on how great she is, she turned it around and put the focus on how a great class is really about the students. A priceless lesson on Day 4!
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 3: Sunday, 11/20/11
I don't know much about most things, but there is one thing that I know for sure. The more you do something, the more you practice anything...progress happens. And so on Day 3, I walked into the HOT room after a long day of teaching classes. 7pm class at 72nd Street location. The last class of the day... the room is always hotter and 72nd street location always feels way hotter than the other locations.
I was rushing from my last set of classes on the upper west side. Definitely not the way I like to arrive to a class. But when you're doing 30 days of non stop yoga, you fit it in when you can. I'm struck that after only 3 days, I'm sitting taller, standing taller and feeling more open in my body and my mind. It was apparent from the first moment I walked into the studio that tonight's challenge was going to be the heat.
That's the thing about Bikram. The 26 postures are really easy to execute. The Challenge is doing the practice in the heat. Which is the real reason I'm drawn to this Challenge. Sitting with discomfort is something that is good practice so I embraced that challenge tonight. As I fought the heat and all the feelings and emotions that come from being overwhelmed at times in a posture, it occurred to me that in only 3 short days the class was not getting any easier. The class was getting way harder.
Harder because I was pushing more and allowing myself to go deeper in each posture. Harder because my body was understanding and remembering where to go and how to go there more completely. And thus the work begins on Day 3. An ex Coach of mine once told me that "It has to be ugly before it can be pretty." And yes the work tonight felt "ugly" in many places but I look forward to the beauty which is the reward of patience and hard work and the eventual letting go and just letting the practice happen.
That's the thing about progress. It only happens one day at a time!
I was rushing from my last set of classes on the upper west side. Definitely not the way I like to arrive to a class. But when you're doing 30 days of non stop yoga, you fit it in when you can. I'm struck that after only 3 days, I'm sitting taller, standing taller and feeling more open in my body and my mind. It was apparent from the first moment I walked into the studio that tonight's challenge was going to be the heat.
That's the thing about Bikram. The 26 postures are really easy to execute. The Challenge is doing the practice in the heat. Which is the real reason I'm drawn to this Challenge. Sitting with discomfort is something that is good practice so I embraced that challenge tonight. As I fought the heat and all the feelings and emotions that come from being overwhelmed at times in a posture, it occurred to me that in only 3 short days the class was not getting any easier. The class was getting way harder.
Harder because I was pushing more and allowing myself to go deeper in each posture. Harder because my body was understanding and remembering where to go and how to go there more completely. And thus the work begins on Day 3. An ex Coach of mine once told me that "It has to be ugly before it can be pretty." And yes the work tonight felt "ugly" in many places but I look forward to the beauty which is the reward of patience and hard work and the eventual letting go and just letting the practice happen.
That's the thing about progress. It only happens one day at a time!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 2: Saturday, 11/19/11
There are some things that are within our control and many that are not. Yesterday was such an amazing start to my 30 days of hot yoga that I took it for granted on many levels. First, the teacher Kathryn was simply spectacular. An amazing presence, soothing voice, the ability to say exactly the right thing at the right time. Tremendously gifted individual.
It was my intention to make her class again today but opted for the 7pm class instead.When I walked into the studio tonight, I made another choice. Patrick, as you will recall from yesterday's blog, who was my 30 Day Challenge buddy in 2004 and who is now a Bikram Yoga instructor was such a pleasure to practice next to last night. Standing next to him simply elevates your practice. So when I walked into the studio and saw Patrick I should have set up court next to him but opted for a space on the other side of the studio instead.
Big mistake as I ended up next to obnoxious loud breathing guy who spent most of the class blowing his nose and coughing loudly! I'd like to think of myself as tremendously focused but in such close, hot quarters, this was no bueno. The instructor tonight kept blab, blab, blabbing about things that took too long to connect to a point and I found myself getting a headache just trying to listen to her while really just wanting to yell at the top of my lungs "Shut the F*** up!" Obviously on Day 2, I have not yet learned the yogic art of patience, no judgement and real focus. Just as I thought that I could not take any more I heard her say to me "Loi you need to make sure your foot is flat on the floor." "Which foot?" I asked. "Your left one" she said sweetly. OMG my left foot wasn't flat on the floor!!! I had been thinking as she was blabbing on that after years of on again/off again Bikram classes, my positioning on this one posture was always off and I didn't quite know why. And just like that she fixed something that no one else had ever noticed!
Which got me thinking. How often do I miss out on getting the lesson out of a situation because I either become a creature of comfort or habit or start to tune someone out because I think that what they are saying or doing has limited value. On Day 2, it's a great lesson to learn that out of the MORE challenging situation comes the biggest rewards and sometimes out of the mouth of the most unlikely source comes the most valuable information.
It was my intention to make her class again today but opted for the 7pm class instead.When I walked into the studio tonight, I made another choice. Patrick, as you will recall from yesterday's blog, who was my 30 Day Challenge buddy in 2004 and who is now a Bikram Yoga instructor was such a pleasure to practice next to last night. Standing next to him simply elevates your practice. So when I walked into the studio and saw Patrick I should have set up court next to him but opted for a space on the other side of the studio instead.
Big mistake as I ended up next to obnoxious loud breathing guy who spent most of the class blowing his nose and coughing loudly! I'd like to think of myself as tremendously focused but in such close, hot quarters, this was no bueno. The instructor tonight kept blab, blab, blabbing about things that took too long to connect to a point and I found myself getting a headache just trying to listen to her while really just wanting to yell at the top of my lungs "Shut the F*** up!" Obviously on Day 2, I have not yet learned the yogic art of patience, no judgement and real focus. Just as I thought that I could not take any more I heard her say to me "Loi you need to make sure your foot is flat on the floor." "Which foot?" I asked. "Your left one" she said sweetly. OMG my left foot wasn't flat on the floor!!! I had been thinking as she was blabbing on that after years of on again/off again Bikram classes, my positioning on this one posture was always off and I didn't quite know why. And just like that she fixed something that no one else had ever noticed!
Which got me thinking. How often do I miss out on getting the lesson out of a situation because I either become a creature of comfort or habit or start to tune someone out because I think that what they are saying or doing has limited value. On Day 2, it's a great lesson to learn that out of the MORE challenging situation comes the biggest rewards and sometimes out of the mouth of the most unlikely source comes the most valuable information.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge--Day 1: Friday, 11/18/11
The first day of anything is both easy and hard. As I discovered today, the hard part is finding the time in my schedule to do anything daily let alone yoga. I had done this challenge before in 2004 but really out of necessity. My mom had just passed away and the yoga kept me together both emotionally and physically. It was my safe place for 43 days in a row. I learned many truly amazing things in those 43 days. Since then, I have been in and out of Bikram Yoga. I guess you could say that I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love the practice but the sameness of the 26 sequences ends up boring me invariably. But, I can't deny that the contentment I found in those 43 days was something special; Something that I need at this particular moment in my life.
I ended up at a 7:30pm class tonight and one of the few open spaces when I arrived was next to Patrick, one of the Bikram instructors. Patrick and I did the 30 Day Challenge together all those years ago, so it really was special and coincidental to practice next to him tonight. And so it begins...Day 1 done. In the beginning of class, the instructor mentioned one of the students was on his 134th day of Bikram Yoga!!! Makes 30 days seem like a breeze.
That's the easy part...the first day of any challenge. Hard to get started, but so easy if you can do it one day at a time!
I ended up at a 7:30pm class tonight and one of the few open spaces when I arrived was next to Patrick, one of the Bikram instructors. Patrick and I did the 30 Day Challenge together all those years ago, so it really was special and coincidental to practice next to him tonight. And so it begins...Day 1 done. In the beginning of class, the instructor mentioned one of the students was on his 134th day of Bikram Yoga!!! Makes 30 days seem like a breeze.
That's the easy part...the first day of any challenge. Hard to get started, but so easy if you can do it one day at a time!
Friday, September 23, 2011
They Make Prisoners Run On Treadmills...Don't They?
Torture. Just plain torture. Miles and miles of drudgery on what has got to be the most boring piece of exercise equipment ever invented. Well, now that I think about it, I take that back. That dubious honor really belongs to the Elliptical Machine. Could there be a more uninteresting piece of apparatus? A session on that thing makes visiting my Dentist a virtual fiesta. But, I digress. Back to the treadmill. I've always hated it and therefore don't spend a lot of time on it. I use it only when it is absolutely a necessity. If it's 115 degrees out or other hazardous weather or I need to get a quick workout on and I'm already at the gym or recently on vacation in Barcelona because it was accessible. What's not to hate about the treadmill or as my friend Ken calls it "the dreadmill." For starters: there's no scenery, no sounds of nature, I'm not really going anyway, someone invariably always seems to be talking on the treadmill next to me...and the list goes on and on. As does the treadmill session. Endless monotony. The longest I have run on the treadmill is 10 miles and those 10 miles moved by as quickly as the year when I was a little girl and I thought 12 would just last forever! Never ever to see my dream age of 13.
Which brings me to my next point. Who would create such a torture device and why? I thought I knew the answer to this question. But I'm a curious girl. Must be the Libra in me, if I believed in Astrology. So, for moments like this, God created Google. I thought there would be a rational explanation for the invention of the treadmill. After all, indoor cycling has a rational invention. Johnny G created Spinning because he wanted to be able to train indoors on days that he could not get an outdoor workout once he started to have an expanding family. Makes sense. This I can embrace. I was expecting this to be the rationale or something close enough to this for it's sister machine. Turns out, I was not even close. Google led me to my go to resource Wikipedia and what Wikipedia had to say totally blew me away:
"Treadmills were historically used as a method of reforming offenders in prison, an innovation introduced by Sir William Curbitt in 1817."
Now this was starting to make sense to me. Who else but the prisoner with time on his hands or no means to run outdoors would really be attracted to the sameness of treadmill running. I can't help but laugh out loud since I've often thought of my time on the treadmill as a prison sentence. Who knew I was this close to the truth of it all all along?
Which brings me to my next point. Who would create such a torture device and why? I thought I knew the answer to this question. But I'm a curious girl. Must be the Libra in me, if I believed in Astrology. So, for moments like this, God created Google. I thought there would be a rational explanation for the invention of the treadmill. After all, indoor cycling has a rational invention. Johnny G created Spinning because he wanted to be able to train indoors on days that he could not get an outdoor workout once he started to have an expanding family. Makes sense. This I can embrace. I was expecting this to be the rationale or something close enough to this for it's sister machine. Turns out, I was not even close. Google led me to my go to resource Wikipedia and what Wikipedia had to say totally blew me away:
"Treadmills were historically used as a method of reforming offenders in prison, an innovation introduced by Sir William Curbitt in 1817."
Now this was starting to make sense to me. Who else but the prisoner with time on his hands or no means to run outdoors would really be attracted to the sameness of treadmill running. I can't help but laugh out loud since I've often thought of my time on the treadmill as a prison sentence. Who knew I was this close to the truth of it all all along?
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch CHANGES!
I don't think anyone really understands how hard it is for me to give up one of my classes. Invariably, Life happens. Movement happens. Change happens. I am always more than a little reluctant of letting go. There are people in my classes that have been there for as long as 17 years! That in itself is a testament to the longevity of the bonds that I have been able to forge with so many of you over the years. I don't take for granted the space that many of you hold in your hearts for me and I treasure every moment of the times that we have been able to spend together. The real joy of teaching for me is watching the progression that happens from day-to-day, month-to-month and year-to-year. I am not a parent, but I do feel parental elation at seeing the growth that can happen, in and out of the classroom, if you let it.
I am committed though as I approach my 47th Birthday to really push the envelope in terms of my own growth and development. This means that I too must Move more quickly. Grow more quickly. Change more quickly. The sadness sits with me a little this week as I make the announcement that I a giving up 3 of my classes. What really sits with me more than that is the absolute pure joy I have had with each and every one of you in those classes and how much our times together will always be remember. I challenge you and I've challenge myself to embrace change and to appreciate the blessing of what you have in the moment. Everything changes. For the better I think.
And so is the mixed emotions for me this week of letting go as I embrace new challenges. One of my students, Kathy Supove (an amazing musician), sent me the nicest email that expressed how happy she is that I am making space in my life for new things. She also writes: "It also gives us a Zen-like challenge: not only to appreciate and treasure what we've had (if it's even possible to do that more than we do already), but to make shifts in our own lives, now that we're left with what appears to us as a void".
Makes me tear up knowing that I have been this loved and appreciated. Thank you!
I am committed though as I approach my 47th Birthday to really push the envelope in terms of my own growth and development. This means that I too must Move more quickly. Grow more quickly. Change more quickly. The sadness sits with me a little this week as I make the announcement that I a giving up 3 of my classes. What really sits with me more than that is the absolute pure joy I have had with each and every one of you in those classes and how much our times together will always be remember. I challenge you and I've challenge myself to embrace change and to appreciate the blessing of what you have in the moment. Everything changes. For the better I think.
And so is the mixed emotions for me this week of letting go as I embrace new challenges. One of my students, Kathy Supove (an amazing musician), sent me the nicest email that expressed how happy she is that I am making space in my life for new things. She also writes: "It also gives us a Zen-like challenge: not only to appreciate and treasure what we've had (if it's even possible to do that more than we do already), but to make shifts in our own lives, now that we're left with what appears to us as a void".
Makes me tear up knowing that I have been this loved and appreciated. Thank you!
Monday, September 5, 2011
So Long Summer! Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out!!!
Ok. Truth telling time here. I'm not a fan of Summer. It is my least favorite season. For a girl who was born in Jamaica and lived there the first 7 years of my life, you would think that I would be fawning for Summer, but no way.
Almost everything about Summer is too much. Too much heat, too much humidity, too much of the smelly scents of NYC, too much minimalist clothing, too much of shirtless men roaming the streets with not so great bodies, too many people running in Central Park or anywhere else for that matter. Too much noise. Too many people outdoors. And the list goes on. Before all you Summer lovers bombard me with reasons why Summer is grand, remember...my blog...my opinion:). This Summer, I did the unthinkable. I ran in the Summer. Yuk! To avoid the blazing heat, I would run as early as possible or as late as possible. How do civilized people run in the middle of the day in the blazing heat and humidity? I had to do it a few times and my body felt like it was running while dragging Kate and her brood of 8.
So it is with absolute delight that September is here and Fall is on the way. Everything about Fall is fantastic! How I delightfully look forward to temperatures in the 40's, 50's and 60's. The changing of the leaves in Central Park. Fall Fashion. Pleasant subway temperatures. Oh, How I Love You Fall! Can't wait to see you...
And your distant cousin Winter... I'm excited just thinking about you. Long runs in the beautiful, crisp, cold air. That strong, decisive wind that awakens the spirit and lets you know you're really alive. The inevitable snowstorm. There's nothing more beautiful than NYC in the Winter! Except maybe NYC in the Spring!
Almost everything about Summer is too much. Too much heat, too much humidity, too much of the smelly scents of NYC, too much minimalist clothing, too much of shirtless men roaming the streets with not so great bodies, too many people running in Central Park or anywhere else for that matter. Too much noise. Too many people outdoors. And the list goes on. Before all you Summer lovers bombard me with reasons why Summer is grand, remember...my blog...my opinion:). This Summer, I did the unthinkable. I ran in the Summer. Yuk! To avoid the blazing heat, I would run as early as possible or as late as possible. How do civilized people run in the middle of the day in the blazing heat and humidity? I had to do it a few times and my body felt like it was running while dragging Kate and her brood of 8.
So it is with absolute delight that September is here and Fall is on the way. Everything about Fall is fantastic! How I delightfully look forward to temperatures in the 40's, 50's and 60's. The changing of the leaves in Central Park. Fall Fashion. Pleasant subway temperatures. Oh, How I Love You Fall! Can't wait to see you...
And your distant cousin Winter... I'm excited just thinking about you. Long runs in the beautiful, crisp, cold air. That strong, decisive wind that awakens the spirit and lets you know you're really alive. The inevitable snowstorm. There's nothing more beautiful than NYC in the Winter! Except maybe NYC in the Spring!
Monday, July 18, 2011
If At First You Don't Succeed...
It happens every now and again. A moment of immense clarity. Almost spiritual in its occurrence. So it was the other night that it occurred to me very vividly that you have to believe in your own truth. Above and beyond anything else, you have to believe in your own work ethic and performance standards. There will always be naysayers and doubters. People who overvalue their worth and therefore, by necessity, need to undervalue yours.
I was again watching "The Godfather", this time with special commentary from director Frances Ford Coppola. Hard to believe, but the studio fought him on everything in the making of the film and he says that it was probably the most unpleasant experience of his professional life. They didn't want him to cast Marlon Brando. They didn't want him to cast Al Pacino. Instead the studio wanted either Danny Thomas or Ernest Borgnine in the Vito Corleone role. The studio hated his choice for musical orchestration. They second guessed him on practically every major and minor decision. They even had studio people on the set looking over his shoulder at every single turn. He feared he was going to be fired at any given moment. The head of Paramount Pictures famously said "Marlon Brando will never be in this movie!" And the list goes on.
Yet "The Godfather" turned out to be one of the best movies of all time. It's in exceptional company with "Citizen Kane" and "Casablanca" as the best 3 movies ever. What if Frances Ford Coppola had not stuck to his guns and fought for what he believed to be the vision of the movie and Mario Puzo's book? Could Danny Thomas or Ernest Borgnine really have bought the depth and nuance that Marlon Brando brought to the role? Who but Al Pacino could have really given that performance as Michael Corleone?
As I watched and listened to Coppola's commentary, I was struck that a man who is regarded as one of the best movie makers of all time, had to fight this hard for his voice to be heard. I tried to parallel his story to my life. Are there ways in which I stifle my own creative energy? Do I believe in myself and my truth as loudly as I need to? Can I begin to articulate who I really am and what is important to me more clearly? Because at the end of the day, holding on to what you value to be true for you is the ultimate act of self expression and self love.
I was again watching "The Godfather", this time with special commentary from director Frances Ford Coppola. Hard to believe, but the studio fought him on everything in the making of the film and he says that it was probably the most unpleasant experience of his professional life. They didn't want him to cast Marlon Brando. They didn't want him to cast Al Pacino. Instead the studio wanted either Danny Thomas or Ernest Borgnine in the Vito Corleone role. The studio hated his choice for musical orchestration. They second guessed him on practically every major and minor decision. They even had studio people on the set looking over his shoulder at every single turn. He feared he was going to be fired at any given moment. The head of Paramount Pictures famously said "Marlon Brando will never be in this movie!" And the list goes on.
Yet "The Godfather" turned out to be one of the best movies of all time. It's in exceptional company with "Citizen Kane" and "Casablanca" as the best 3 movies ever. What if Frances Ford Coppola had not stuck to his guns and fought for what he believed to be the vision of the movie and Mario Puzo's book? Could Danny Thomas or Ernest Borgnine really have bought the depth and nuance that Marlon Brando brought to the role? Who but Al Pacino could have really given that performance as Michael Corleone?
As I watched and listened to Coppola's commentary, I was struck that a man who is regarded as one of the best movie makers of all time, had to fight this hard for his voice to be heard. I tried to parallel his story to my life. Are there ways in which I stifle my own creative energy? Do I believe in myself and my truth as loudly as I need to? Can I begin to articulate who I really am and what is important to me more clearly? Because at the end of the day, holding on to what you value to be true for you is the ultimate act of self expression and self love.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Ridin' Solo
"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do." Blah. Blah. Blah. If you're a child of the 60's, as I am, you remember the Three Dog Night song "One." Great song but seriously??? Let me go on the record right now and declare "One is the grooviest number that you'll ever do." I LOVE the number one...which may come as the ultimate shock to anyone who takes my classes. One of my favorite things to do is to spend time alone. ME time is the best time. When I was a little girl, my mom would ask me why I wasn't outside playing. My response was always the same "I would rather read this book." In the interest of full disclosure, I am also the girl who wrote the poem "Me, Myself, and I" at twelve years old.
I love ridin' solo so much that I devote whole days to it. And at least one night a week, I take myself out to dinner. On these nights, you can typically find me at one of my vegan staples: Candle Cafe, Cafe Blossom, Pure Food & Wine or Angelica's Kitchen. I love, love, LOVE everything about the experience. Arriving alone. "Yes, table for one please." I always get an appetizer and most of the time a chocolate dessert. Solitude alas in this often noisy and chaotic city. I don't have to coordinate my schedule with anyone: I don't have to make small talk. Heck I don't have to talk at all. Lately I've added the singular glass of organic Sauvignon Blanc to the experience. Perfection!!!
I'm practically giddy with excitement on my solo excursions. I go to the movies solo. I go to concerts solo. In fact, over the last couple of years, I've seen both Prince and Tina Turner all by myself. My friends always say the same thing when they find out about my solo outings. "I would have gone with you." Secretly I know that I don't want any company. The delicious truth is I haven't changed that much since I was a little girl. I was my own best company then and I'm my own best company now. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to spend time with the special people in my life. But the most special person in my life is ME which makes ridin' solo so much fun!
I love ridin' solo so much that I devote whole days to it. And at least one night a week, I take myself out to dinner. On these nights, you can typically find me at one of my vegan staples: Candle Cafe, Cafe Blossom, Pure Food & Wine or Angelica's Kitchen. I love, love, LOVE everything about the experience. Arriving alone. "Yes, table for one please." I always get an appetizer and most of the time a chocolate dessert. Solitude alas in this often noisy and chaotic city. I don't have to coordinate my schedule with anyone: I don't have to make small talk. Heck I don't have to talk at all. Lately I've added the singular glass of organic Sauvignon Blanc to the experience. Perfection!!!
I'm practically giddy with excitement on my solo excursions. I go to the movies solo. I go to concerts solo. In fact, over the last couple of years, I've seen both Prince and Tina Turner all by myself. My friends always say the same thing when they find out about my solo outings. "I would have gone with you." Secretly I know that I don't want any company. The delicious truth is I haven't changed that much since I was a little girl. I was my own best company then and I'm my own best company now. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to spend time with the special people in my life. But the most special person in my life is ME which makes ridin' solo so much fun!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
1984
This all started out seemingly at random. I had gained a bit of weight in college. My boyfriend at the time who was a major marathon runner really changed my life. "I love you no matter what size you are" he said "but I know you're not happy as you are." WOW. An Oprah moment pre Oprah. Something about what he said and how he said it touched me deeply. Never a distance runner and always a sprinter, this is how I started distance and endurance training. The year was 1984. I also joined the gym next to my apartment complex and started taking aerobics classes and fell in LOVE with high impact aerobics!!! My favorite instructor was Vicki, a gorgeous, tall, blond woman with a body that I thought I would get only if I were really good in this lifetime and there was a do over via reincarnation. I had been taking Vicki's classes for a few months and running with my boyfriend and eating in a mindful way when Vicki asked to speak to me after class.
She had noticed the weight loss, I thought, and wanted to congratulate me on that. Not really. She told me she was the Aerobics Director at the club and wanted to offer me a job teaching classes. I broke out in a laugh and told her that I could not possibly do that. She said "you're obviously an instructor, so why not teach here. " I told her that I was not an instructor and would have absolutely no idea how to teach a class. And then Vicki said to me the words that changed my life. "You're extremely talented and I will teach you everything that you need to know."
Fast forward 27 years later and I still think back to all that my ex boyfriend and Vicki gave me in 1984. How unbelievably fantastic to have people who believe in you and can in a moment change the course and direction of your life! I was in the locker room at Equinox a few days ago and I heard my name and looked up and locked eyes with a former student of mine from New York Sports Clubs. We hugged and I was so happy to see her! I've always felt a special connection to everyone who take my classes and had not seen her in 10 years. "Taking your classes changed my life," she said. And in that moment it reaffirmed to me that I am truly doing what I was intended to do.
There are no accidents in life. I am here at this moment and in this place to make a difference. That really is the magic of life. That at any moment something we do can be life altering to someone else and to ourselves. That we have the capability with our actions and words to truly transform and uplift and enlighten. My eternal gratitude and love goes to Vicki Staples. Thank you so much Vicki for changing my life!
She had noticed the weight loss, I thought, and wanted to congratulate me on that. Not really. She told me she was the Aerobics Director at the club and wanted to offer me a job teaching classes. I broke out in a laugh and told her that I could not possibly do that. She said "you're obviously an instructor, so why not teach here. " I told her that I was not an instructor and would have absolutely no idea how to teach a class. And then Vicki said to me the words that changed my life. "You're extremely talented and I will teach you everything that you need to know."
Fast forward 27 years later and I still think back to all that my ex boyfriend and Vicki gave me in 1984. How unbelievably fantastic to have people who believe in you and can in a moment change the course and direction of your life! I was in the locker room at Equinox a few days ago and I heard my name and looked up and locked eyes with a former student of mine from New York Sports Clubs. We hugged and I was so happy to see her! I've always felt a special connection to everyone who take my classes and had not seen her in 10 years. "Taking your classes changed my life," she said. And in that moment it reaffirmed to me that I am truly doing what I was intended to do.
There are no accidents in life. I am here at this moment and in this place to make a difference. That really is the magic of life. That at any moment something we do can be life altering to someone else and to ourselves. That we have the capability with our actions and words to truly transform and uplift and enlighten. My eternal gratitude and love goes to Vicki Staples. Thank you so much Vicki for changing my life!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
There's no "I" in classes...but there are 3 of them in elliptical machine!
Let me just get this off my chest right NOW! There is no worse annoyance to the Group Exercise instructor than members who come to class and do their own thing. It is rude, inconsiderate, self- centered, arrogant, disruptive and just plain old annoying. The very definition of Group Exercise is working together as a GROUP and following the instructor's routine. I often wonder why these people just don't just go and work out on their own. Elliptical anyone??? Then it occurred to me that those individuals are part of a larger societal problem. Gone are the days when "We" was a collective part of our vocabulary. "We" has been replaced by "I" and "Me". What "I" want, what is best for "Me". F*** my fellow man and to hell with what is in the best interest of anyone but "Me". It's all about "Me"!!! Look at "Me". I'm sure reality TV has only helped perpetuate the narcissism. I was teaching class this morning and EVERYONE in class was listening, following and contributing to the GROUP dynamic. Such an AMAZING experience for me and everyone in the room. It occurred to me that I should savor the moment because it rarely happens anymore in a class. Where everyone gets why we're there. Where everyone is contributing to the GROUP energy. Where EVERYONE recognizes that "WE" is so much more powerful a word than 'I".
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Balance
Probably the question I get the most often is "What do you eat?" The truth of the matter is it does not really matter to you what I eat. I don't hold any secrets about nutrition and healthy eating. If you would like to work with someone on nutrition, then I would recommend a nutritionist. I know for me, I keep it simple. If it does not come from the earth, then I don't eat it but that probably is not something that would necessarily work for you. We are prone to want to find shortcuts to everything and the real truth is that there is no shortcut to healthy eating or a balanced exercise program. Most of us really know what it means to make healthy choices but we look outside of ourselves for a quick way to get in that bikini, or wedding dress or lose 10 pounds by the High School Reunion. Which brings me to "Balance." Is there a way for you to make peace with how you are eating and how much exercising you do? Is there a way for you to find Balance in those two areas of your life? I do know for me that when I am in Balance, everything else just flows effortlessly. Balance does take some work...but let the work begin!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Gratitude
It was going to happen today because it needed to happen today. As much as I needed air, I needed to go for a run. I hadn't attempted to since my back spasm on 11/17. And so I put on my ultra wind resistant 20 degree gear and headed out the door, not quite sure what would happen. But just then, my feet hit the pavement and I felt so incredibly alive. More alive than I'd felt in the last few months. No iPod. Just me. One foot in front of the other. The perfect sound of my even breaths almost hypnotizing me with each step. Perfectly beautiful, perfectly in the moment, perfectly necessary! This is my peace, my sanity, my love. All is right in the world. Perfectly alone in my thoughts. Running without ego, competition, a stop watch. Running out of beauty and necessity. Running out of love and appreciation. Running out of gratitude. Grateful for the power and the beauty of movement. Grateful to be living life to it's fullest in this moment.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Purple Reign
Most of you already know that I LOVE me some Prince. Always have since "I Wanna Be Your Lover". I've appreciated his musical genius...his raw talent as a singer, songwriter, and as one of the most talented guitar players ever...up there with Clapton, Slash, Jimi. So YES, I was super excited to see him a few weeks ago at Madison Square Garden. I first saw him in 1985 on his "Purple Rain" tour. This time around in 2010, Prince was still electrifying, supremely talented and utterly AMAZING. No longer outrageous, this was PG rated Prince. Maybe even G rated Prince. Why was I secretly longing for this Prince to do something outrageous? "Sexy M.F." anyone??? Couldn't he just hump the stage once for old time sake? I left feeling nostalgic for things past. Then it occurred to me that both Prince and I were almost 26 years older. He had changed and so had I. Gone were the super short mini skirt, fishnet stockings and spike heels that I wore to the first Prince concert. No. This Loi was more conservative, older, more subdued, just like Prince. But he had managed to navigate a brilliant career, a purple reign, that spans 3 decades while constantly reinventing what he does and how he does it. It also occurred to me that coincidentally 8 months prior to that ealier Prince concert, I had taught my first Group Exercise class. And like Prince, I'm still at it all these years later trying to figure out how to stay continually fresh, relevant and continue my own purple reign. This blog is my first step in putting a voice to all that I have been and all that I am becoming. I'm excited about this next chapter of my more mature self. And really excited to be sharing this with you. Here's to reinvention!
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